


Tidings of Comfort and Joy

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Christmas, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:50:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas and River is coming back!  How will Twelve react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tidings of Comfort and Joy

The TARDIS was quiet. He was used to the quiet now.  His previous incarnation always needed  activity, people around. That one could never be alone for very long. But now things were different. He could sit and read or work without being interrupted for days, and that suited him just fine.  

The Doctor was sitting in his favorite chair on the top level, a well worn book in his hand.  Yes it was Christmas and he was alone, but what did that matter, really?.  "It’s totally fine," he told himself. "I don’t need any Christmas drama this year. Every year something goes wrong on Christmas and so I'm going to sit right here and read my book and compose some new music later. The universe needs some new tunes." Things had been bad lately, like Davros and Missy and this is the end of me and _Clara... oh Clara_ , kind of bad.  He would sit and read alone and enjoy the calm. Perhaps he would pop in on Vastra and Jenny for some eggnog.  The potato made good eggnog he remembered.  He had just turned the page of the book when he heard the TARDIS door open and close.  He looked up.  He had locked that door.  He distinctly remembered locking that door….

“Sweetie?” he heard a female voice say, the sound echoing through the room and piercing his heart.  

He jumped to his feet, backing away from the rail and putting himself flat against the wall.  

“Doctor?” River’s voice called again.  

He watched his wife moved toward the console where he could see her, her golden hair shining in the light.  It was her, it was River.  Oh god, it was really her.  His hands itched to touch her, to go to her, but his body wouldn’t move.  He was rooted to the spot. He watched her look around, and heard her call again, “Doctor?” Hearing his long dead wife say his name again was the sweetest music he had ever heard, but it was also the most frightening. 

Then she turned and looked at him.  Their eyes met and he saw the briefest look of confusion sweep over her face.  She didn’t know him, didn't recognize this face.  He didn’t know what that meant.  Was it good, was it bad, what would she say when she saw him properly? He certainly was not all floppy hair and chin any longer. Thoughts and doubts where whirling around his head, but everything stopped cold when he was that she was moving toward the stairs.

The Doctor’s hands shook.  Everything in his being screamed out for her, but he was so very frightened. This body didn't crave physical contact, so why was it doing it now? Why was there an enormous empty space inside of his chest growing larger by the second? No, he couldn't, he couldn't let her in again.  He didn’t think he could possibly say goodbye to her one more time.  He had said goodbye at the Library, at Darillium, at Trenzalore, and a million other times in between.  Must the universe be so cruel that he would have to say goodbye to her again?  He didn’t think he could bear it.  But everything in him needed her.  After Missy, after Clara, after missing her for years and years and years, gods above he _needed_ her.

River came up the stairs slowly, her eyes moving over everything. She was noticing the books and the chairs, and the chalkboards, taking everything in.  Then she stood in front of him and gave him a smile that left him weak in the knees, “Hello, Sweetie.”

His eyes moved over her, noticing every detail. Her hair was pulled up, he hated that, wanted to see it loose, but the springy curls still bounced every time she moved. She was wearing a form fitting silver gown that glittered in the low light and made him want to rest his hands where the flair of her hips were clearly outlined. He wanted to tell her “You are the most beautiful creature I think I have ever seen,” but his mouth wouldn't work. He opened it and then closed it again. 

River tilted her head, “Thank you, Sweetie. It's not often that the Doctor is at a loss for words.” River said teasingly, moving closer to him, her hand automatically reaching for his collar.  Her fingers hesitated at the absence of his tie, but then smoothed down over his lapel instead.  

The Doctor caught her hand with his own. Oh god, why had he touched her? If he hadn't have touched her, this would have been so much easier. Her hand was so soft, so small in his, just as he remembered. 

“You’ve redecorated I see,” she said looking around again.  “Very grown up.  You will never believe where I’ve been tonight, apparently Liz XII has decided to..”

“Shush!” the Doctor commanded, cutting her off. 

River turned back to him and looked at him with surprise and a bit of annoyance.  She opened her mouth to speak again and the Doctor dropped her hand and put his finger over her lips. Oh god, another big mistake. The feel of her lips drew his eyes to them. They were soft and full and he remembered the way they felt against his, against his bare skin, and the gaping hole in his chest grew larger and his stomach squeezed.

These were not feelings this body ever felt. He had put this all away, never even hoping he would see her again, but here was River, waiting patiently for him to pull himself together. She slowly pulled his hand away from her mouth and held it between her own. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked her, and he wanted to punch himself when her heard the question coming out more gruff and harsh than he had intended. He saw the pain leap into her eyes before she quickly stowed it away. His stomach lurched again but he set his jaw and he brushed past her, moving down the stairs to the console. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe it was better if she didn't know his hearts were breaking.

“Certainly didn't expect you to turn so Scottish,” River said to his back, her words harsh in return for his. “You must hate that Amy had such an affect on you.”

He slammed his hands down on the console. That one had hurt. River had always known just how to twist the knife. But of course, he had been just as hurtful to her, more than once. He turned to face her, "How do I even know you are the real River Song?"

"Do you really think your ship would have let me in here?" she asked, exasperated. "Go on, run the scans."

The Doctor turned back to the console and every scan he could think of matched River's data already saved. It was her. But that didn't make sense. 

“Maybe I should go,” she said, her tone maddeningly even. She had pulled down the mask, and he heard her words echoing in his head _One does ones best to hide the damage._ River behind him said, “It seems like maybe more things have changed around here than just the décor.” 

He heard her shoes start to tap across the floor toward the door and before he knew what he was doing he was moving after her and grabbing her hand, “No, don't go,” he heard himself plead and his eyes widened. He had surprised both of them. He had wanted her to go, needed her to go and leave him in peace, but there was just no way could let that happen. He was the Doctor, and she was River Song. He pulled his wife into his arms and held her close. He laid his head on the top of hers and murmured her name.

The Doctor pulled back a bit to look at her. “River, how old are you? Where have you seen me last?” he asked her. He was long past games and diaries and dancing around the subject.

“Old enough to know that obviously my husband has been to Trenzalore, and he hasn't seen me for a very long while,” she said, a small sad smile playing across her mouth, but he could see her eyes were still masked.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, “Of course you knew,” he said with exasperation, but he didn't let her go.

River's eyes dropped, looking at the floor. “No, I didn't know,” she said very quietly, “I just recently found out. I have been looking for you, searching ever since....”

The Doctor's hand cupped her chin, just a bit too roughly, and tilted her face up so she would meet his eyes. “Since when, River?” The knot in his stomach tightened even more. No, no he couldn't dare to hope....

“Since I left the Library,” River said, fixing the mask in place and meeting his gaze confidently. “After I left, I picked up my research where I had left off and found that things had changed. I found out about the long battle at Trenzalore and that you had regenerated. I decided to try to find this new version of you. I knew that the Doctor before Trenzalore wouldn't have been able to...” River trailed off. The Doctor started to say something but River shook her head, “You didn't like endings, I know.”

The Doctor's face changed from surprise to anger. His mind raced but then he just gave up. He smiled and his eyes softened. “But this is not an ending, My Dear. This is a beginning.”

River smiled in relief. She reached up and touched his gray hair and gently ran her fingers along his face. 

"Not such a twelve year old anymore, am I?" he asked hesitantly, afraid she might not like the new body.

“You know, I have a sneaking suspicion you might be more like a twelve year old on the inside than on the outside this go around,” she said, a bit of the flirt edging back in to her voice as her arms snaked around his neck. "You are the Doctor after all." River rose up on her toes and softly pressed her lips against his. The Doctor made a small noise of surprise but he quickly crushed her against him. He kissed her back fervently, his lips rough against hers. He wanted to kiss her, to devour her. His emotions and desires had been very slow to wake up in this new body, but now they were a raging fire consuming him whole. The Doctor paused, waiting for his body to fight, for his brain to scream at him to disengage, but nothing came. Nothing but the flame of desire growing and the need for River blotting out every doubt. He moved a hand up to the back of her head as he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, letting her moan urge him on.

"Oh my," River breathed when they parted. "Some things have certainly changed."

The Doctor raised his eyebrow and gave her a sly smile. "Like the new me, do you?"

"Well, let's see what the rest of you can do, then I'll let you know," River said, her voice low and throaty, her hands trailing down his chest.

"But River, how? How are you here?" he asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb, just like he always had.

"Later, Sweetie, I promise. We'll have a nice long chat. For now, I'd really like to open my Christmas present," she said, finding the zipper on his hoodie and pulling it down.

He smiled at her. "Merry Christmas, River," he said and dipped his head to kiss her again.


End file.
